Fat Bastard Wines

 

 

Fat Bastard is in the House
– Fat Bastard Wines that Is

 

When the receptionist told me that Fat Bastard was in the house I thought to myself, “Damn, who told my ex I worked here?” Much to my relief it wasn’t the fat bastard I had been married to over 15 years ago, as he lives in California where hopefully, the fault line has opened up and swallowed him whole by now, but rather, a box of FAT bastard Wines shipped to me from a public relations company I met at the launch of the Provence’s Rose Program event, containing Ooh La La Syrah and Chardonnay SVP.  I’ve never heard of FAT bastard wines, but I’ve always been a big fan of French wineries as the French just seem to know how to make a good wine from brutally dry champagnes to fully bodied Pinot Noirs. Is it because they’re drinking wine all day or is it because we just love the way the names of the wines like Châteauneuf-du-Pape Pierre André roll off our tongues. Ah oui mon cheri!

As you may or may not know, I call myself the Wine Sweetie because I tend to prefer wines that are more fruit forward which are therefore more sweeter than complex wines that have notes of oak and leather. Wine critics try to tell me that you develop a taste for these more sophisticated wines over time, but to me it’s about as sophisticated as running my tongue up and down the trunk of an oak tree. Not that I tried that (at least not when anyone was looking) So when the public relations company for Fat Bastard Wines sent me FAT bastard Chardonnay 2016 and Fat Bastard Syrah 2016, I was excited to not only try them but to write a whole series of absolutely mad wine notes which I posted on my Social Media feeds, proving that although I’m not a wine critic, I can certainly entertain people with my wine tasting notes.  With a name like “FAT bastard“, how could I resist!

When I brought the wines to my company Friday social, there was a stampede to get to the FAT bastard wines as some of my coworkers were familiar with FAT bastard!  My verdict – love, love, love, as both wines were very fruit forward and were oh too drinkable as the FAT bastard Syrah had soft tannins that didn’t bite me in the taste buds like some of the big tannin wines and the Chardonnay had an overflowing bowl of fruit on the palate with soft acidity.  My more detailed wine tasting notes are below in my series of mad wine tasting notes.  Warning, don’t read them while drinking as it may result in wine projectiles being hurled.

 

Fat Bastard Wines

Most oenophiles have a wine collection, me I have an evil wine collection. FAT bastard meet Evil Bitch. Please play nice in my apartment when I’m gone. My friend who bought me the Evil and Bitch wines said the store had just ran out of F****king – true story.  With friends like these, now you know why I drink!


Mirror mirror on the wall, whose the biggest FAT bastard of them all? Oh it’s me snap, because if you believe that you are what you drink, then I smell like ripe purple plums and I taste like ripe blueberries and blackberries with spicy undertones with a medium body and a soft elegant finish. Who wants a taste of FAT bastard Oh La La Syrah (or me for that matter – wink wink)?



Fat Bastard Wines

That’s my FAT bastard boss asking me to get a glass of FAT bastard Ooh La La Syrah to which I responded “I may walk and I may run but I don’t jump and fetch – unless there’s a crisp 100 dollar bill.” #NeverEasyAndNeverCheap.

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Fat Bastard Wines

It’s the wine that shagged me as FAT bastard Chardonnay wine makes me go hmmm in the night with its aromatic vanilla and oak scents and notes of pineapple and melon with a dry and well-balanced body. But be forewarned if you get carried away and drink five bottles you just might find Fat Bastard in your bed in the morning. Where is Austin Powers when you need him?


 

Fat Bastard Wines

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Author

Dianne

Editor in Chief of Fabulously Frugal in Vancouver.

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